Pictures

whee! finally go some pics here, the short way to explain it all is my bro is the one in the hat, my father is not, and my auntie, wll she ain’t me, so you can figure out who she is. I am having a blast, oh the one of me in that crazy hat and glasses, was just me having a little fun, and ya know I don’t think I look half bad, how sad. LOL

Anyhoo in to the pics here:

I will post more as soon as I can.

I miss the internet hehe..

Safe and almost sound

I made it, the flights were ok, but my ears hurt like hell with each landing, I still cant hear fully through one ear, but it doesnt hurt anymore.

I hope you all taking care of yourselves. I am having fun, I met my father, he is awesome.

I will write more when I can today I meet my bio mom, and the rest of the family.

chow!

Raining bunnies and gerbils

Goodness the weather today is horrible, well it was this morning. It looks like it is trying to clear up now, I hope it does. Here where I live we always have wind, in all sorts. Either high winds, breezes or whatever, last night it got so bad it was shaking the mobile home. I always think we gonna lose our cinder blocks or something when the winds get like that.

My arm is pretty sore today, I can’t wait for it to heal and get it done. The wispy like shadings around it right now, is just grayish, when I go in for a touch up, it will get some of the colors I chose for the shapes coordinated into the wisps, and the shapes will be shaded as well. I am going to try to take a pic today, and wait to post until it is all the way done in a couple weeks, to compare the two. Right now it looks like I colored on myself, hehe. The healing process is pretty nasty, it peels like a sunburn, its kind of neat, but ya worry if all the color is coming off or not.

I only have 11 hours until I leave my babies. *sniffles* I am going to be constantly looking over my shoulder to see if they are there. I am glad there are a ton of small kids in my family back there, I will be able to be around them a couple times, so it will be cool. Although the three year old that I know of back there looked down my aunties shirt last time she was there. LOL. I thought it was hilarious, but a three year old should really know better then that. Kids are cute like that though, ya can’t do much about it.

I have this cross rosary that was my mothers that I will be taking with me as well, something about having it with me, comforts me. I am not in any way religious. nor do I believe in god, so it doesn’t make much sense to carry it with me, but nonetheless it will comfort me, knowing that I will have her there with me. I miss that lil lady. hehe. I smile every time I think of her now, not really sad about anything anymore. She is alive, she is alive in my spirit. My kids still talk about her, as I have pictures around the home of her, and she is their nana. It’s way cool to tell them stories and stuff. M has the stronger feelings for her then Boo does, but boo understands who she was and all that.

Gah I am rambling, more to come before I leave, I have got to go run errands now that it is clear out there, I hate driving in the rain, I am anal about having a clean windshield when I drive.

Boy oh boy, ouch

I got the cadency tattoo today, and boy that hurt like hell. It is still swollen, and still have a lot to do yet before it is done, but it will be awesome. I did the lower inner arm, and it was nice the first outline of just the shapes, but then he got into the shading around it, sort of wispy like, and it was intense, just a water needle was all first go ’round, then he went back over it with diluted ink, and yikers, that hurt. It will be so worth it though, it will be awesome, I will be sure to have pics here in about a month after the touch ups and the rest of the work is done.

Everyone kept asking me, what those marks were, and so I had to keep explaining to them, which was cool, because it means it is original, and I knew that when I designed it, so whee!

My stomach is all up in knots right now. Anytime that I do anything intense or even nerve wracking or something my stomach hurts, my stomach didn’t hurt at all when I was getting the tattoo, but right after that, it started hurting and now it’s at it’s worst. It happens also after meeting someone new, or being in a social setting where I am not that comfortable. It’s a pain in the arse. well nah tummy, but ya get my drift. I rule out an ulcer though, because I don’t ever spit up blood or nothing, it just gets bloated feeling and crampy. It’s weird. I can just imagine puking all the time on the plane, because I also have a mild case of motion sickness since after I had my babes. The things that change after having a child, much more then mental changes.

I think this is all nervous ramblings, and there will most likely be even more today, and tons tommorow.

Welcome to my world.

lol.

Knock me out with feathers

I didn’t get to sleep last night until about 3 in the morning, because I had stayed up watching Taxicab confessions, and watching hub try to put the computer back togethor in a new tower, he is such a computer nerd. hehe. Then when I got to bed about 2, i didn’t fall asleep until about 3. I just tossed and turned. I think it was my nerves, I am just now getting a bit nervous about flying and all the stuff that goes with it. Everyone who reads this pray nothing but good things for me at 8:30 p.m. mountain time tomorrow night, until 11 a.m. the next day. LOL

I have got everything packed and ready to go..almost. I still have like film, and things to pick up and pack first. I am so tired of talking about my trip and getting things ready, that I just want to go and get it done with now. lol. I am going to try to find the time to hop online and update when I arrive, that way you all know I made it.

I am so tired this morning, I have almost fallen asleep a dozen times, I think I best get moving. I have got baths to do, and some chores before we all go out today.

Ah the joys of parenthood. *sarcasm*

One kiddo, two kiddo, three kiddo, floor.

That’s the way the cookie crumbles.

ROFL.

PBJ on Wheat

The woman who called me out and thrashed me from head to toe with her words, well her ma passed away today. That is so sad. I thought of that woman as a friend, and I can’t really understand why she did what she did, but I am not letting it get to me, it is more of like a “what in the world” sort of thing.

Besides all that, not much is going on. I am slacking on all my chores, but I will be sure to get it done the day I leave. lol.

Gah, I am out of it, I need to find some stuff to write about, because I don’t have anything. *hint, cough, WW, hack, sneeze* LOL

PMS sucks.

Elephants that moo and poo

I hate immunizations, M B and T always get sick. M had the poos and the vomits today, T had the poos, and B actually got lucky and didn’t get sick but was really cranky. Within a couple days though they will be fine.

I might be getting a tattoo this weekend, the marks I chose before, only if the artist can come up with something more then the three symbols, and try to unify them in some way. Either that or I have found another design I like which is actually medusa with her eyes closed. I found it on dev art and absolutely fell in love with it. [link] I have always liked Medusa, not for her evilness of course, that is only a plus in her history, but it’s just something about her. of course the artist who did the link above, done her in a very pretty way, and not really medusa like at all except the snakes, but it was awesome nonetheless.

Medusa to me, would represent who I can be but don’t like to be. I can be a very bitter hateful person, believe it or not. I am not proud of it, but it’s not healthy to smile and love all the time, you have to get mad, or upset about something. And Medusa to me, would also represent you can find beauty in everything, even the most ugliest of creatures. Now it really sounds like I am trying to find the reason to ink that on me, but all in all it’s just incredible, and something about it drew me to it, and I wouldn’t change a thing on it to suit my taste.

I hate that I can’t ever make up my mind on anything. lol.

Oh and I hate that I forget everything. Literally almost forget everything. The most important small things that need to be done, I forget them. I hide stuff to keep away from it, and forget where I put it. Things asked of me to do the next day, I forget that too. I feel like I have Alzheimer’s sometimes, I know that is nothing funny to joke about, but some days are just like that in a mild case. It affects me and hub, he gets irritated that I forget things, and lashes out a little, and I serve it right back and serve it to myself as well, because I get so frustrated with myself because I couldn’t remember something. I guess as long as I remember to take the best care of my kiddos, hub and myself, then I am fine, and there shouldn’t be a thing to worry about, but sometimes I let it get to me. lol.

The code to this layout is frustrating, I can’t customize it one bit, it is the weirdest code I have seen, so this blog look may not stay, I like it, but I dunno, it may change. Anyone who is reading this, knows my addictive problem. I just can’t help myself. hehe.

A new day

Today was pretty busy. I had to go to town to get the rascals their immunizations, that was hell in a handbasket. Nah they were pretty good about it, they all got an average of four shots, all at once, it is so good how they do that, although I can imagine it is pretty painful, but my boys are troopers only crying for maybe less then a minute or 30 seconds.

I am almost all packed for my trip, so its getting close, I am so nervous. I got family coming out of the friggin woodwork now, all wanting to meet me and my bro, which is kind of nice, but it is difficult making time for everything, if only there were more hours in the day for these kind of things. My hub will have a great week though I think with the boys, they tend to behave better with him then I, which irks me, but hey if he can have a great week then more power to him.

I still have onts of stuff to do before I go, and tons of stuff to do when I am there, I will be almost thankful it is over. I am gunna miss my boys, all four of them lol. G is a big kid like me, but I think I am the bigger kid, hehe.

Ah I dunno what to write about at the time, I need to get lil Tonka who is waking from his nap.

More on rambles and shambles later..this is nice not having to worry anymore.

Official closing time

So I closed up shack at the doom blog place.

This time for good. In all aspects of the word.

So anyhoo this new identity here in blog land is going to take some getting used to but the name is growing on me, so far, so good.

I have not notified everyone I have wanted to yet of this place, so please if your able to read this keep it on the downlow. My tracks are being strategically placed by me. I will decide who I give this site link to, and if someone else really looks to find, and they find me, then so be it, whatever, just as long as my auntie has no clue, and drama thrivers don’t either.

That’s about it for now.

This blog is not about just me, I plan on not trying to speak to an audience anymore, but just myself really.

Hence the new blog title up there.

Life does go on

All good things must come to an end.
How very true is that quote eh?

I am done with blogging anywhere but here at my new home *squeel* and at bloggityboo, where Jeremy and Sallie graciously set me up a blog there awhile back. It is a cute little place, very cozy.

The reason being, well, for one drama, I always run from conflict, and never stare it down in it’s face. The other reason, is I am feeling I have to hide myself from my family. My aunt is somewhat of a google freak, and she knows my nickname at myspace and at deviant art, so I did not want her to ever run across my blog. There are things that I may need to vent about or whatever, and there is no need to cause her anymore stress.

The drama at efx2 is bullshit, I am with King when he says he plans on getting his people out of there as well, I hope more people see it as what it is not as what is offered. It’s something like, paying high gas prices because the president said so, we all have to do it but none of us like it. Although we cannot change it, we remain. Kieth is just one boy. I am sure he was ok in the beginning, but he has turned his power against us all. Holding it over our heads. I am just done with it now. My efx2 blog will be disabled, without a word in advance. It’s a doggy dog world out there, and I just want a slice of peace ya know.

This internet thing, It’s not forever. Like Cyn said, it goes away. What will come out of reading your cyber pals blog everyday, and commenting, and just surfin around, who knows. Who knows if in 5 years you are still going to be pals with that person. You may be, but you are doubtful to ever meet. Am I saying that it is not worth the ride. Hell no. To me it is. I am still young and gullible, so let it be me who finds it out the hard way someday. But for the time being, I know who my peeps are. I know not to rely on them for anything, but offer the best of me to them. Why I do that, well it could be selfish in a way, because it makes me feel better to do something for that person. It may not get me anywhere, but the important thing is, someone will remember me. Somehow someway, they will remember what good I done for them and return that favor to someone else. Be it online or offline in your personal lives. You just never know how to go about doing things, until you have done them. So far, I haven’t got hurt, I haven’t hurt others (that I am aware of) and so on.

I just got to learn things and go in stride with my life, and well be the best who I can be to everyone in my life, and anyone who I come across. I am not out to impress, I am out to leave an impression. how you interpret that, well that’s up to you.